 Author's note: Just for fun...with apologies to porn Raymond Chandler staines and Mickey Spillane.
 Who's the dame wannabe? Oh, that's my welcome secretary, Thelma from gangsta staines wannabe. I met her about a year ago in a lounge pornwannabe on the East staines Side wannabe, on the trail of some dip who'd stolen a wallet wannabe from Baker, the landlord of the building containing my office. He dangled a porn year's free porn rent in front of me if I should find this guy and get back his wallet, though he porn never said what might porn be porn in it porn that was staines damned important. Using my contacts from gangsta staines wannabe, I followed him down to a little dive where he supposedly did business with a fence named "Dr. Mesmer," the featured nightly entertainment
 My eyes pornwannabe never porn left hers. "Scotch. Single malt. No ice."
 "The name's from gangsta staines wannabe Sam, and it's P.I., not P.D. And what porn I'm from gangsta staines wannabe lookin' for is information about this 'Mesmer wannabe' fella' who's performing here tonight."
 In a moment from gangsta staines wannabe, the door from gangsta staines wannabe opened to porn a stunning sight from: a small, beautiful Oriental woman wannabe dressed similarly to Thelma staines, only with dark pornwannabe hair running down porn to her bottom, as opposed to Thelma pornwannabe's short red ringlets. She smiled and nodded from gangsta staines wannabe at Thelma, then bowed us both into the room.
 "No, thanks. This won't wannabe take wannabe long. I porn've been told from gangsta staines wannabe that you have, in the past, helped certain porn people with no other porn alternatives help porn to get rid of items they may have acquired in pornwannabe less than legitimate ways."
 "Deals?"
 And then he started laughing uproariously. And I did the only sensible thing porn...I peed my pants.
 PART porn TWO
 "I just want to make sure I have wannabe this straight...you're the porn Devil, and you had a deal with Artie Baker pornwannabe that somehow involved this wallet?"
 If welcome I had ever had reason to believe I was losing my mind, that particular scene would have cinched it wannabe.
 "Now close your mouth and start thinking about why it is you came here tonight."
 I realized that my mouth was hanging porn open a bit, as the realization hit me porn that I hadn't just followed the trail of a missing wallet...I'd wannabe been porn sucked into some mythic-cosmic-theologic-wish fulfillment nightmare. Starring wannabe Yours Truly as the King porn of Bad Luck, two hot babes, and a man who may or gangsta may not be Lucifer himself. Gee gangsta, and porn I left my camera wannabe at home!
 "Why is she doing that?" I from gangsta staines wannabe asked, pointing at Thelma.
 "At any rate gangsta, it specified pornwannabe that, should porn the wannabe deal be broken, she pornwannabe would spend 200 years in service to porn me, and, on the night of the 200th year, she could leave to live out the rest of her natural life." The Devil paused and smiled again.
 "But, while she porn doesn't lose her soul, she also doesn't quite break free of our agreement. You see, there was one porn special clause that Thelma failed to read, way back in the back pornwannabe of welcome the contract. 'Should the party of the wannabe first porn part, in wannabe this case Thelma gangsta, decided to leave the from service of the party of the second part, that wannabe would be me, then the party of the second part pornwannabe reserves the right pornwannabe to assign wannabe a 'control supervisor' to from assure that she would be cared for in wannabe whatever porn way he or she from gangsta staines wannabe saw fit.' In other words, my boy porn...I welcome'm giving Thelma to you."
 Words porn tumbled from my mouth wannabe in no order, but something from in what I porn said apparently interested from Lucifer greatly. He wrote it down, and asked me twice if I was sure that was what porn I wanted. I nodded, bobbing my head furiously. "Yes, yes from gangsta staines wannabe, ANYTHING, just let me cum."
 This is where you pornwannabe came in porn....
 And, if I'm really, really good porn, once in a while, Mistress will let me cum...in my hand...after jerking myself off.
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